A new due South ficlet

[history_gurl]

I wrote this in response to a prompt from sdraevn here.

She made my RayK muse sit up and take notice and pester the crap outta my brain until this was written. Damn her and her fannish ways!

Title: Falling
Pairing: Fraser/RayK preslash
Rating: G
Summary: (stolen directly from the prompt) Sometimes you want to fall.



Sometimes you *want* to fall.

Ray doesn't know when he learned this, but he did. He sure as hell knows he did not know this when he was thirteen years old, pissing himself in a bank.

Back then, Ray knew that they were screwed. He knew that Stella, the pretty blonde girl, was scared. Hell, he knew the grown-ups were scared. Ray was scared too, scared to die, scared to do nothing, but more scared to do something. He looked over the edge, and he was so scared, and he fell.

Suddenly, Ray was Stella's hero. He saved her, he saved everybody, and Stella loved Ray for it. And the edge got sharper, higher, scarier. And Ray, well, he had to walk closer to that edge. And falling? Well, falling got to be something that Ray avoided every day. He tried to stick with loving Stella and hoping for the best.

One day, Ray realized that instead of just loving Stella, he could be in love with her. That day, Ray thought about wanting to fall. Looking back, Ray thinks maybe he thought he knew about wanting to fall then. But he didn't, not really, not then. So, instead of falling, he jumped. Ray leaped in with both feet, and he never looked back, except when he did.

Ray never fell with Stella, not so it mattered. He only knew this after. The loving was easy, it wasn't falling, it just was. The falling came later. And it was just as scary as the bank, and the hero, and the being loved. The falling with Stella was the falling apart, and Ray didn't want to fall.

Ray Vecchio knew about falling. There was falling out of cars, and falling off buildings, and falling through windows. And, yeah, sometimes, he wanted to do those things for Fraser, but Ray knew he didn't really want to fall. To be Ray Vecchio, he had to fall.

Then, Ray Vecchio came back. And Fraser and Ray Kowalski fell off a plane. And they fell down a mountain. And they fell into a crevasse. And Fraser fell down a mineshaft with Muldoon. And, sitting around a campfire, Ray fell into Fraser. And Ray Kowalski didn't have to fall.

When Ray settled himself into the sled with the tallow and the tack and an old map, he knew. When he watched Fraser salute Buck Frobisher, he knew. When they slid across the snow field, falling into adventure, he knew.

Sometimes you *want* to fall.

Comments

[j-s-cavalcante.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I love this. Sweet and gloriously subtle. I dunno why, but it has never occurred to me that Ray saved everyone in that bank (not just Stella) from the bank robber. Duh. *Smacks self* That is so consistent with the cop he later becomes, saving people because he is who he is, even though he's scared and would prefer to protect himself. So pissing himself in the bank, though mortifying at the time, was a good thing--a fact he recognizes when he actually thanks Marcus Ellery during the eclipse.

I love the falling idea, literally and metaphorically (i.e., falling in love, falling into adventure). Falling is such a huge theme in dS. And this is so telling:

And, sitting around a campfire, Ray fell into Fraser. And Ray Kowalski didn't have to fall.

So astute. Hey, maybe the story isn't so much pre-slash as G-rated slash. :) Because the idea's there, it's just subtly expressed.

J S

[grey853.livejournal.com]

Short, but sweet. Thanks for sharing.

[01100100.livejournal.com]

I thought this was lovely. I really enjoyed it. I think you did better with the line than I did (and failed) ;-)